I think I would like that in either chrome or titanium.

E has some scrappy teefers. He inherited his father's larger teeth (nothing wrong with that), but my small jaw. At the age of 8, his regular dentist kept giving us referrals to the orthodontist. I took note of that at the age of 9 and lo and behold, our insurance will pay for braces because his teefers are just jacked up.

Say hello to Brace Face.

He is being very bashful about the new metal mouth, and on the drive home from the orthodontist's office, he kicked the back of my seat (which brought me much joy, I love it when they kick the back of my seat while I'm driving [***grits teeth***]) and said, "I cannot wait to get these braces off." He then told me I just didn't understand. Of course, I then planted my foot firmly on his rear end and kicked it. No, of course I didn't do that, I was driving. But I did start a long and rambling monologue about my three years as a metal mouth. I got one sentence into my lengthy monologue, and was interrupted with an, "okay, okay, you get it, I get it, you get it," at which point I just continued my monologue cause last time I checked, I am the boss of him.

We go back next week for more brackets. His teefers were too jacked up to get all of the brackets on in the first visit. I haven't told him yet. And I plan to take a new route next week when we go so he won't suspect our destination until we are there.

Just now he discussed with me the potential for rust on the braces in his mouth. Oh the fun I will have with his braces..... I'm thinking up horror stories right now...

When I say goodbye to someone, I expect it to stick.

No, that is NOT a pear tree, it is a CHAIR tree. Duh.

Also, yes the grass is dead. Thanks for noticing. The back yard is way too big to water, so I didn't. So there.

Like rearranging chairs on the deck of the Titanic

I sometimes wonder if the lady in the office next door had any idea that I can hear every single word that comes out of her mouth, if she would talk so loud. I really didn't need to know her friend uses vaginal cream successfully.

So last night, I was showing my friend the landlady video, the one with Will Ferrell and Pearl, the landlord, wherein she proceeds to cuss him up one side and down the other, and although wildly inappropriate, I will always find it hilarious. Before we watched that video, a new video appeared.... Go watch it. Now.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6670edb858/match-com-jon-gosselin

I am not going to lie, I had no idea match.com allowed you to do commercials. I am totally signing back up yo.

Teddy had the political acuity of a koala.

This week, I saw the new Transformers movie. Brilliant.

This week it has been over a hundred degrees every single day. That is ridiculous. The grass is totally tee'd off. So am I. It is hard to breathe. Oppressive really. I'm trying to embrace the summer though, because it is only June, so it won't be getting better anytime soon.

Summery wines are my friend. So is ice cold water!

This week I decided I'm so ready for a vacation. A real one. Where I can relax and enjoy stuff.

This week I hired an intern/law clerk. I'm pretty pumped up about it! YAY for becoming more efficient.

This week I got an appointment for E to get braces. I think he is actually excited about it and I find that adorable.

This week I also got an appointment for M to have surgery on her left foot. She essentially has an extra ankle bone. I had to have the same surgery, one foot at a time. We are going to have fun this summer before her surgery. Because she will be in a cast for 6-8 weeks and that won't be so fun. But she will feel way better.

This week I decided that I can't get rid of the dogs because I'm annoyed. This home is their forever home. I cannot just discard them when I can help make them better dogs in the first place.

This week, I am alive.

I always take no for an answer.

Recently I started reading this new blog called www.motherhoodinnyc.com. She is one funny cat. She posted recently about her summer reading plan, or books she wants to read this summer, or something like that, and I read the post and then read the comments and created my own summer reading list (not like I needed the help, I love to read, but I'm totally down with broadening my horizons a little at a time, because any more than that and I'm going on strike.) Thus far, I have read some Edith Wharton (not as boring as I expected and frankly very well written). I also read A Fraction of the Whole, a novel by Steve Toltz, and it has me laughing out loud and also struggling to put it down. It is ridiculous on top of ridiculous, but also very poignant. Or something. I find it entertaining. I read The Host by Stephanie Meyer (the author of the Twilight series). This was supposed to be her first adult novel. But to be frank, I found it to be written more on a teenaged level with teenaged simplicity. Nevertheless, I liked the ideas, even though it was predictable.

On top of reading, I am still working on building my solo practice and wonder often during the day what level of insanity made me decide this was a good idea. Also, my couch smells like dog and like fritos. I suspect the frito smell is also a dog thing. I don't like it one bit.

In a Land Far, Far Away

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch.




But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.



The End

There's some pretty cool places out in Queens.

This week has been eventful. First and foremost, we have progress on the fence. Well, compared to what we did have, which was flat open plains. Right? Now we have those stick things, um, and those are helping, um.... Okay, fine, the fence is still down. Happy now? My fence guy has a regular day job. Darn those day jobs to heck....

This past weekend, I had a house full of darling children, that I enjoyed like crazy. We hit the zoo and there was this tiger and he kept following this guy on the people side of the fence who had an ice chest. Back and forth, back and forth. It was hilarious. Evidently Mr. Tiger gets his rare steak out of an igloo icechest on wheels, eh?

Then this cute little orangutan who just wanted someone to rescue him from behind that mean old glass.

Here are the kids posing. Posers.....